After Automated BIOS Update - Stuck in BIOS Secure Boot Authentication Loop

[Yeah-k]

Edited for grammar.

So Windows 11 pushed down an automated BIOS update which was a first for me.

After, I was getting an error telling me that I had to re-enable Secure Start and so I made the huge mistake of checking that checkbox and now my Laptop is stuck in an endless loop of asking me for a four digit number to authorize the BIOS change (which I provide) and where it then reboots and repeats that process endlessly.

There is no escape. 

After the 10th time, I figured this wasn't normal and started trying to actual get back into BIOS.  Ahem... This is where I realized something was very much awry.

None of the Window + V, Windows + B,  F10, Esc tricks work.  It was also set to power up on AC so, of course the second I put the power to it, it starts up on its own.  I mention this in case someone wants to suggest those hold the power button for 2 seconds, 3 seconds, 15 seconds, etc... tricks.. they don't work either.  Note that I get no beeps, that option was also previously disabled in BIOS.

If I could ever actually get to a BIOS menu, that would be huge; but no.  While I do manage to see "Entering BIOS" flash up on the background in every attempt after I enter the code (and just before the entire system goes dark), it never actually goes there, it just reboots and brings up that Secure boot change authorization screen again... endlessly.  I should mention my BIOS is protected with a password... because at some point in the past it told me that I had to do that to make a change, so I chose "password", I only mention because I know someone will ask about it being password protected.

In desperation, I pulled the power, removed the battery, did the 30-second power button thing, pulled the entire motherboard out, removed the CMOS battery (I can't believe you guys buried it under there), left it out for an hour, put it all back together and ... yeah, for some reason not even all that broke the spell.  I was pretty shocked.  I figured for sure it would return to factory defaults to where I could at least get into the BIOS.  Nope.

I'm all ears here guys.  How did this latest BIOS update that Windows itself pushed down to me so badly screw me over to where I can't do anything, including just getting back into the BIOS itself (or even abort to boot from USB or find the BIOS Recovery USB either)  I need this Xeon Workstation back in action.

Does this thing need to go to an HP Shop where an EEPROM flasher solves this problem and if so, how do I arrange that?