BIOS corrupted by Windows Automatic update and now the BIOS will not update off of USB

[ATHiker1]

So history on my OMEN PC 16-b0000 gaming laptop... I have had a long LONG history of nothing but bad on this laptop.   I admit it.   3 cases under Warranty and I am at somewhere around 7 re-installs of Windows at this point.   This machine has NOT handled Windows updates or Ubisoft game installs well.   But this last time it seemed like it was fixed!   Until I realized I had missed my updates for 2 months and ran a Windows Update.   it included a Firmware update.   And that is what I think killed it this time.  Regardless of what actually killed it, this is what happened and what I've done so far.

Windows updated.   It asked for and got rebooted.  It went to the OMEN and swirling circle.   It stayed there for 2 hours.   I killed it and restarted it.   it got to Windows.   It froze.   I left it for 2 hours.   I killed it and restarted it.   It got to the OMEN circle of doom.   Only gave it 1 hour and killed it and restarted.   Repeat that...   4 more times?   Day ended.   Day 2 - broke out my Windows recovery USB.   Attempted (and failed) to boot off of it.   Windows went to the blue screen of "OK, what next?" options.   I chose "download Windows and reinstall - but save my files!"  It said "No" and crashed and went off of a tangent.   I think it went to a previous (and failed but fixed by USB) BIOS install as part of the auto repair.  Now the bad things started happening.   Long story short.  On, leave alone, force closed, reboot, repeat.   Day 3.  OK - I have something to go on.   CAPS lock, 3 long, 2 short.   Win+V, power on...   and it doesn't work.   leave powered off for a few hours.  Try again.   CMOS resets.  Win + B.   Windows starts???   No idea how, but the screen goes "bad CT tube" level of fuzzy and I am forced to start the cycle over.   After long periods of "let the PC cool down" I manage to get the machine to try to update the BIOS.   I don't get the cool Blue bios install screen, it's a DOS screen!   it says to reboot but locks up.   Power button did nothing.   Unplugged.   it was dead by morning.   Day 4.  Gotta admit it.   Yesterday I was starting to feel frustrated.   5 attempts at Win+B to get the bios to install.   It made it to the correct screen 3 times.   Best result was 90% thru the verification before it locked up.   Current attempt I left overnight into Day 5.   it's at 98% of Bios install, but this was the first time I got the "Your Bios is corrupted.   it will install when you reboot" message.   which is why i just let it run.   Best advice I found so far was "wait for winter and leave it outside in a garbage bag when it's -4 outside and then update the BIOS outside.   it doesn't get that cold here even in the winter...   anyone else have a solution for me (other than admit that it's a lemon and HP's policy of "you didn't call it a lemon in time so we won't replace it" has left me w/ a VERY expensive brick)?