I need to permanently disable my touchpad in the registry

[Beetleinabox]

The title says it all. I've been having issues with my touchpad, detailed here, for years, and I need to just put it out of its misery. I'd like to know which registry keys I should edit/delete/create in order to do this.

TL;DR, All the standard software solutions have proven ineffective or have bad/wierd side-effects, so I've ruled those out. Now, it's down to either rediting the registry or opening up my laptop up and physically pulling the plug.

I need to do this via the registry because no other method is effective. I've tried several different versions of the drivers, both from Synaptics and from Windows. Disabling the touchpad in the Synaptics settings causes all the PS/2 drivers to reflash every few minutes, meaning that my keyboard stops working, too; and these reflashes seem to be causing occasional sudden shutdowns. Disabling it via Device Manager isn't an option. I can uninstall it, but this doesn't work because 1) I need to reboot my computer to complete this, which is a pain, and 2) even after this reboot, the touchpad is automatically reinstalled after another reboot.

Moreover, I've determined that this is definitely a hardware problem because the cursor's erratic behavior persists even when I live boot to an entirely different operating system (Linux), and all the firmware/hardware checks that I can run in the BIOS/UEFI come up clean.

In a nutshell, anything related to drivers is totally off of my table as a solution. So, if you're going to suggest a driver-related alternative to editing the registry or physicall opening up my laptop, please don't. I appreciate anyone's willingness to help, but this will not be helpful unless you have personally solved my exact problem with a specific driver update--"specific" as in: you can tell me the exact version number, date signed, and where I may be able to obtain them (i.e. "the most recent drivers" or "drivers from the Synaptics website" is not specific and therefore not helpful).