Printing Errors or Lights & Stuck Print Jobs

My HP Deskjet 3752 printer will only print internally. I've tried the print doctor and it can't find anything wrong. I've tried HP Smart diagnostics and it can't find anything wrong. When I send a print job through, either from HP Smart or an external program, the printer makes the sound like it's getting ready to print, but doesn't actually grab the paper and start printing. I can see the print job make it to the queue, but in less than a second, it's already gone and no printout.

Originally, I was getting the issue that my printer wasn't connected and then error messages in the queue that it couldn't print, but I fiddled with a bunch of things and it shows up as ready and online.

I've tried removing the printer from my computer numerous times both through system/device settings and add/remove programs. I've downloaded software from HP and run both the full and the HP Easy setups. I've unplugged the cord from the back of the printer and unplugged from the surge protector, waited over a minute and then plugged it into a wall socket instead of the surge protector. I've tried taking the ink out and putting it back in. I've tried moving the carriage all the way to the right. I've restarted the computer.  (I've even turned it OFF) I've restarted the router and the cable modem. I've tried the hold the power button and press the X for 5 seconds - a test page comes out, but that's an internal print job and not online. I've tried the HP virtual assistant and she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I don't have a *stuck* in queue job anymore since I solved the "cannot print" error and now have this problem. I've tried google searches and the only similar issue I can seem to find is from someone using Windows 8 (and the solution did not seem to work for me though I tried what I could of that too.)

There doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with printer since internal print jobs are working. The estimated level of Instant Ink also seem to be okay and there is a normal level of ink of the internal print jobs.

I don't know what else to do. Everything seems normal according to all of the diagnostics, and yet it still refuses to print! Help!